Back in the Saddle Again. Kind of.


So I’ve gotten back on the horse, so to speak. Well maybe not back on, but I have been inching my way onto the saddle. After taking a couple of months off of dating, or rather attempted dating, I am giving the whole “hunt for my future husband” (hahaha, who are we kidding, more like the guy who I can hang out with, sleep with, and order in take-out with on a somewhat consistent basis) another try. I guess you can say that things are going slightly better this time around, if by better you mean that I have a few new phone numbers in my phone. However, as with most things in life, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Perhaps I just needed to have one decent interaction to get things moving along. I thought I had potentially found that in Matt. We me on Bumble. He looked super good-looking in his profile pic and was looking for a nice jewish girl! Clearly we were going to be soul mates. Matt impressed me when he insisted on calling me after texting for a couple of hours, however that’s when it kind of turned to shit. Matt was one of those guys who was witty through text but totally dry, in a way that you could not tell whether or not he was kidding, on the phone. Needless to say it was a little awkward. Yet, he insisted that he thought we would get along great in person and he asked me out for the following weekend. Although I was a little hesitant from our phone conversation (and from the fact that he was a shrink – seriously, because there is nothing sexier than feeling like you are being psychoanalyzed all night…although this was also intriguing in that it felt almost like a dare to me, to see if I could throw him off his game…and on the plus side, it was a very mature career choice…) I agreed to the date. I was looking forward to it, actually, since I couldn’t even remember the last time I went out on a real date!.

We continued to text for the next few days and then Matt seemed to fall off the face of the earth. For the two days leading up to our date, I didn’t hear from him once. I pretty much knew where this was going. Sure enough, on the Friday afternoon, hours before we were supposed to meet, Matt sent me a text telling me that he wasn’t sure if he would be able to make it that night. He was feeling “run down” and didn’t want to get me sick. What a peach, right? He was supposed to be going to dinner with his family and we were to meet up afterwards for drinks, so he asked me if we could play it by ear. My response was “sure, no problem.” Fuck that. I wasn’t even in the mood to tell this guy to shove it up his ass. To be honest, I knew that his personality wasn’t for me, but still, what the fuck? Later that night, at about 10:30, he sent me a text saying, “this dinner is lasting forever….!” Instead of telling him to suck a dick, I just ignored the text all together. I never heard from Matt again.

I will never understand the reason why some guys wouldn’t at least want to meet someone in person before ghosting them? Even if he had met another girl at the same time as me, you would think, just out of curiosity, he would want to meet me in person just to dot his i’s and cross his t’s. Whatever. His loss. I ended up googling him a few days later and found some more pictures of him online. Let’s just say that his profile pics were the best he’s ever taken…so worked out for me in the end, I suppose.

I met Bachelor Number Two the old-fashioned way. I went out on a random Wednesday night to celebrate a friend’s birthday. The place was packed (apparently Wednesday nights are pretty major these days..) and there were a surprisingly large number of groups of guys eating dinner. As I was complaining to one of my friends about the fact that men seem to give zero fucks these days about what they look like (literally 85% of the guys eating dinner were wearing sweatpants and baseball hats (SWEATPANTS???) – and we were in an upscale restaurant, not fucking Applebee’s!), a couple of guys came in and were seated at the table next to us. It turned out the one of the girls I was with knew one of them, and she went over to say hello. Perhaps because they were dressed like adults (wearing pants without elastic waistbands), and because I was about 3 shots and two glasses of wine in, I gave my friend “the eyes” and nodded my head in the direction of the guy’s friend who was sitting down looking over the menu. I really couldn’t tell what he looked like, since I could only see a partial profile, but the bar had been set pretty low that night, and he looked good from the angle, the distance,… and from the liquor.

Some words were exchanged and fingers pointed in my direction (real subtle, people), and suddenly the two of them were pulling their seats up to our table. The friend (no clue what his name was) sat down next to me and introduced himself. At first up-close appearances, I remember feeling “eh” about him. To be fair, I was a little hammered, so I really just remember hair gel, teeth (not bad teeth, just very bright and a lot of them), and awkwardness. I ended up giving him the old blow over, chatting politely for a few minutes and then turning to my friend, giving her a “help me, this is super awkward” look. Luckily, he didn’t linger, and went back to his table to have dinner. He stopped me on my way out that night and asked me if I would like to go out sometime. Since I’m a pussy, was drunk, and was with friends who would have burned me at the stake if I said no, I agreed to give him my number – having no intentions of ever seeing him.

No-Name texted me that weekend. We ended up having a decent text convo and he asked me when I was free to hang out. Since I had a busy week coming up at work, I had the perfect excuse to blow him off. I told him that the next few weeks and weekends were hectic, but that I had a few days off after that. I figured that would be enough to get him to give up. It wasn’t. No-Name checked in throughout the next few weeks to say hi, and contacted me the day I started my vacation to see when I was free to get together. I knew at this point I had to give the guy a chance so I reluctantly agreed to meet him for drinks later in the week.

We ended up meeting at a nice bar by his house. When he walked in, I was a little pleasantly surprised since he looked better than I remembered. I didn’t have butterflies, but I didn’t want to run for the hills. I admitted to him immediately that I had no clue what his name was. He laughed, because apparently he hadn’t known my name either, and had to do some research prior to our date. His name was John, and we spent the next few hours arguing about politics – because, fuck dating rules. Conversation was pretty easy and the date lasted a lot longer than I had anticipated. As he walked me to my car, I knew I wasn’t going to kiss him since I wasn’t quite feeling it. So I kissed him on the cheek goodbye after thanking him for the date.

John texted me later that night, and we have been texting ever since. Our date was almost 2 weeks ago, and he as made suggestions to get together since then. I have decided that I am open to getting together with him one more time, to see if there is any spark, but I am waiting for him to ask me on an official date. He seems to think that we are at the point where we can “hang out, open up a bottle of wine, and watch a movie” at one of our houses (a nicer way of asking to Netflix and chill?) but I have since made it clear that that’s just not going to happen yet. Luckily he has been smart enough not to ask me for a “pic” or to send any of his own.

I am warming up to John, although he is younger than me, which is a bit of an issue for me. Not super young, but 5 years younger. Not sure if that’s going to be a thing for me. For now it doesn’t really matter since he has yet to ask me on another grown up date yet. He’s also perhaps one of the most annoying texters I have ever met. He will initiate a conversation and then take forever to respond. He also has fallen asleep mid conversation on several occasions. So…not sure that this really has any potential, but we’ll see. To be continued…

And finally there is Richard. Another Bumble match who I have been “talking” to for a few days. He lives very close by and is a cop.. We spent about 10 hours talking about our dogs the first day that we matched, which was kind of cute. His pictures are ok…there’s something about them though, that make me feel like he is much better looking in person. Of course, I’m probably totally wrong. I’m keeping my fingers crossed though. We have only been texting for a couple of days, but so far I am intrigued. No mention of getting together yet but considering he lives about 2 miles away, I am hoping that he pulls the trigger soon. At this point I have no interest in having a texting buddy.

So despite the douchebag shrink, things seem to finally be moving, or at least there are a few prospects on the horizon. Perhaps my dry spell will be coming to an end soon!?



photo credit: Relaxing & “Horsing” Around via photopin (license)

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