It has become evident that I am slightly obsessed with the fact that I am in my mid 30’s and currently single with no prospects on the horizon. I’ve spent some time during my recent dating hiatus trying to figure out why this has become an obsession of mine (I mean, I started a blog about it for f*ck’s sake!), and I have reached certain conclusions.
I will totally admit, that until very recently, I had no idea what a Liebster Award was. That’s probably because I have only been blogging for, what, a whole 5 months? Needless to say, I was shocked and honored to be nominated for 3 Liebster Awards by some awesome bloggers!
For those, like me, who are unfamiliar with the Liebster Award, it is an internet award given to bloggers by other bloggers. It’s main objective is to recognize newbies to the blogosphere by bringing attention to blogs who have 200 or less followers and who are just starting out.
Turns out, the word Liebster, which is German in origin, has several meanings including sweet, kind, nice, and ironically, boyfriend. So it feels fitting.
As my love sabbatical reaches its final weeks, I’ve had some time to ponder about why I despise online dating as much as I do. For one thing, I find the whole idea to be completely unnatural, but that’s probably because in my mind it’s still 1995 and my see-through pager clipped onto my waistband is my most technologically advanced mode of communication. I suppose I should just accept that this is how shit works these days, but I don’t roll like that. I always want to fight the system. Basically, I’m a pain in the ass.
When I graduated college, I was pretty certain that it would just be a matter of time before I met some amazing guy, got married, and started a family. After all, I was in my early 20’s, had escaped 4 years of undergrad without gaining any weight, and was working in Manhattan for a brag-worthy company (making pennies, but still)! And since I have zero ability to live in the moment, along with a glass-half-empty outlook on life, it was not surprising that I began to preemptively stress over what experiences I might not have before I ended up marrying the last man I would ever sleep with. Not that I was totally inexperienced or a prude, but there were definitely some things that I had yet to have done, sexually speaking. Contemplating a future with one, and only one sexual partner, prompted me to create my own little bucket list – a sexual bucket list, if you will, that I decided I would have to complete before my upcoming matrimony to my then unidentified future husband.
When I’m not busy fighting with men online or getting Catfished, I like to spend my time releasing my frustrations why getting a workout (I’m sure as hell not releasing my frustrations any other way, wink wink). My favorite way to de-stress is by practicing yoga. I’m a bit of a gym-a-phobe, in that I literally hate anything having to do with the gym. I want to want to be active and healthy, but I have a difficult time sticking to something, especially if I absolutely hate it. I’ve tried it all, from just hitting the gym (with and without a trainer), to zumba, to spinning, and everything in between. Finally, I found my happy place in the yoga studio. It’s been over two years since I began faithfully attending yoga classes 3-4 times a week and I can honestly say that I’ve never felt better, both physically and mentally. My classes kick my ass and are very challenging but there is always a next level to get to and I am always improving and mastering postures that I was unable to do before. That, in and of itself, is what keeps my interest.